4 ways to make new friends as an adult

Making new friends in your adulting years can feel tricky. It isn’t as simple as knocking on the door of the person across from you in halls’ of residence. But more than ever, we’re feeling lonely and could do with a few good friends to lean on. How do we actually make (and keep) new friends as adults? 

Here are some steps you can take as soon as today to connect with new and interesting people.

1. Put yourself out there.

You can’t keep going about things in the same way and expect different results. Someone will not magically appear at your front door and ask if you’ll be their friend. You probably wouldn't want them to. The truth is that you have to put yourself out there. How might this look? For one thing, leave your house. And when you do, make an effort to be present as you go through your day. At a cafe, or on your commute, or wherever you happen to go, stay off your phone. Make eye contact, smile, and chat to the barista. By fully showing up for the moment, you’re moving yourself energetically from, ‘Don’t talk to me,’ to ‘Hi, I’m friendly and open to meeting you.’ Watch how this shift brings new people into your life.

App for meeting friends closeby: Friender, Bumble for friends.

2. Drop into a coworking space.

Working from home has been amazing in so many ways: meetings in pajama bottoms, spending time with the dogs, a commute from your bed to desk. But working from home has also made us feel more lonely. Consider dropping into a coworking space. There are usually an interesting mix of people from different industries working in spaces like these. You can easily strike up conversation in communal spaces like the kitchen. Ask the next person who steps in to boil the kettle what they do. A lot of coworking spaces try to build a sense of community by organizing events like monthly drinks, and even book clubs. If there is a coworking space close to your place, then you’ll likely meet other people who live nearby since most people want the convenience of a short commute. 

Apps for meeting work buddies: Let’sLunch, LinkdIn.

3. Join a club (or start one).

Look for local groups, clubs or courses where you can meet other like-minded people. If you’re thinking, ‘I don’t have time to join a club,’ reframe the time as an investment for your wellbeing. If you’ve got a family, you can better show up for them when you feel good about yourself. When you’re part of a community, you feel better in your mind and body. Maybe there are no clubs nearby that you want to join and if there aren't- why not start one up? You can rally online to start through your town’s local Facebook page. Put some feelers out there. Anyone interested in joining a women’s creative writing group? Chances are, there are others just like you who wish there was a club set up for their interests.

App for meeting people with the same interest: Meetup.

4. Practice being a good friend to yourself.

When we treat ourselves like we matter, other people start to think so too. Take yourself out to lunch. Check in with yourself a few times a day and treat those sessions as you would when you’re catching up with a friend. How’s it going? How are you feeling? We often wonder why people leave us out. But how kind are you to yourself? The outer world really is a reflection of what’s going on inside. So treat yourself like the VIP of your own life. 

It’s not as easy to make friends as an adult as it was in your school days. Still, it’s definitely doable if you make it a priority and actually follow through with actions every day to energetically connect with other people. You are an amazing person and other people deserve to be in your company–so get out there and have fun!

Want to find out more about how to make new friends? Pre-order, ‘You’re Not Invited’ by Ava Baran. And subscribe to our free newsletter for more tips.